Dear Jackson,
Since when did you start talking out of the side of your mouth? I started noticing it when you were doing press for Eclipse and I couldn’t help but wonder wtf was up. When and why did you start talking like a stroke victim? Since I didn’t remember this from previous interviews I thought it must have been a one off incident. Then I saw Eclipse and noticed Jasper was doing it too! I get that he’s from Texas and all and supposed to be a southern gentlemen with a slow drawl but you’re NOT Jasper, sure you’re family may live in Texas now but you were born in Indonesia and went to school in Michigan. That’s not exactly the land of mint juleps and hot summer days with your ya-ya’s and cousins down at the “crick.” So I can only think that something’s wrong.
When did this start? Because I’m concerned for your health I took a look back through the annals (heh) of time to see if this is some sort of slow moving medical issue you should have checked out or just some sort of “method” character trait you’re adapting.
First up we have crazy Jackson as a plucky teen journalist on Disney 411 visiting Hilary Duff backstage at her concert. You really should list Hilary as a musical influence for the monkeys. How else do you explain the sound? So nothing here except maybe an intense addiction to speed or the product of like 5 red bulls from Hilary Duff’s craft service table.
Twilight
Next we have Twilight red carpet event… besides being the most bored interviewer ever she asks some dumb-awesome questions. Slow dancing with a vampire? And which actress do you want to suck?! WOAH there missy slow your roll this is a family show. Ask if again! Ask it again! But alas no paralysis or side talking here, just the ol crooked smile.
(ironic that Bryce Dallas Howard was mentioned?)
New Moon
Not even 8 months ago and there was no side mouth talking just creepy catfish facial hair. Please don’t watch the whole video if you’re scared. Just love the Twicon backdrop and how Jackson may have called Kristen “Kristina” at 128, he just may have been that confused fan at the Eclipse premiere.
And now we have one of the most recent things you’ve done. And the weird side talking mouth comes out. Hey cowboy, you’re not foolin’ anyone!
Of course we have our very own SUPER FAN interviewing you as you talk solely out of the left side of your mouth while giving ef me eyes… no small feat.
So obviously this isn’t some speech characteristic you’ve had forever and ever it’s new and a little bit put on, right? Or is it… Did you have some sort of mini stroke or is that paralysis on one side of your face from a rancid Botox injection you got at a 100 Monkeys/Botox/Pampered Chef private party in a cougar Milf’s house? Are you ok? Do I need to call a loved one or give you 2 aspirin while we wait for the ambulance?
Just let us know, otherwise knock it off.
Themoonisdown
Seriously, am I just imaging this or did anyone else notice this weird side mouth accent come out of no where during the last month or so? Oh and crazy Jackson fans save your breath I know he’s not paralyzed and his family is from Texas. Thanks.
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